Mercury Retrograde Shakedown
I haven't paid as much attention to astrology as most do in my circles, and when I talked about the universe, I usually gestured quotations around the word.
Have you heard people blaming everything inconvenient and challenging that occurred in March on Mercury retrograde? I sure did...but maybe you don't hang out with as many new-age folks as I do. This has something to do with Mercury appearing to be traveling backward for a period of time before it begins to move "forward" again. In a planetary sense, Mercury retrograde is the time period when planet Mercury whizzes past Earth in its orbit. Mercury is in charge of all communication oriented items such as speaking, listening, reading, writing, negotiating, purchasing, selling, messaging, transportation, exchanges, and agreements of any sort. The human experience borne from this planetary interaction, such as experiencing challenges in communication, is what has come to be well known as 'mercury retrograde'. Astrologers believe that a planet in retrograde affects the functioning of all of these aspects of communication.
I have been investing in personal and spiritual development for over a decade now, however, my interest was limited when it came to understanding my relationship with the cosmos and the overall effect that the planets and their orbits had on me.
The universe gave me a pretty good shakedown in March. It called me to wake up to something great and shook me free of some old stuff ready to be released.
I'm dropping the quotation marks on the universe and I am listening with great respect. In fact, I had my very first visit with an Astrologer that I have been hearing wonderful things about for some time. The session left me feeling clear and confident about my life choices and future. I feel that I better understand my role in the whole story and the reasons why I have traveled in this particular path. I am getting ahead of myself now, so please allow me to backtrack...
Many of you know that my partner Adam and I have been setting our intentions toward creating a future together in the beautiful Prince Edward County for over two years now. We have explored various avenues and have entertained many options along the way. For the past year, we have been living apart on weekdays -Adam in The County and me in Toronto. This living arrangement was yet another attempt for us to get the ball rolling for our future plan to make a home for ourselves and to create a sacred community space for others to grow and evolve. We have had many ups and downs along the way and in January, we were very close to purchasing a property that we eventually let go of after one too many obstacles in the way. When I returned home to Toronto after hosting a retreat in India, I felt deflated about us still not having something concrete to move us closer toward our goal.
A lot like Mercury, I felt that we were in a retrograde period -seemingly moving backward.
I began to doubt our process and the likelihood of our plans manifesting. I began to lose all hope. I reunited with Adam just after three weeks of being away from one another and began dumping my downer feelings out. He listened patiently enduring my hopeless tale while secretly holding the key to change and the answer for us to finally move forward toward our dream. He continued to hold space as my doubt got the better of me and after two days, he proposed to me on a frozen wave and revealed our newly purchased property in the town of Bloomfield. All of the excitement nearly blew my nervous system to bits -literally.
I am the type of gal who has carved her way through life in order to get what she wants. Nothing came easily to me. I feel that I always took the path less traveled, which usually meant unpaved and full of obstacles, to get to where I am today. Having someone else do something like this for me, someone else paving the way and presenting a clear path ahead, was something very new for my system to learn.
After this incredible news from Adam and during the course of the next three weeks, I experienced two major, spontaneous episodes that called me to connect more deeply to my highest self and to step into my light. Both occurred on the eves of powerful moon phases. On two separate occasions, a part of my soul was trying to communicate to me through intense somatic (body) experiences that included waves of uncontrollable shaking. I did everything I could to find out what was emerging. After many visits between the doctor and naturopath, it was clear that what I was experiencing was beyond something merely physical. I am lucky enough to have easy access to the support that I needed through my connection to colleagues in the world of somatic and spiritual healing practices. I have been working with a spiritual psychotherapist and my visit to the astrologer was also a part of the unfolding of this process for me.
I realize now that I wasn't fully present and ready for what was emerging in me. My highest of intentions had manifested with the help of my partner's efforts, and a part of me was still left behind worrying and full of doubt. As frightening as it was, the intense "shakedowns" were a necessary part of my journey.
I felt as if old DNA was shaking out of my cells at such a rapid pace -all in preparation for me to take this next step forward and into my full power.
I am feeling quite strong after retrieving a part of my soul that was left behind. She is back home. Mercury in retrograde period is over and I am ready to take on the world.